I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
third nipple confirmed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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