TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
