I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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