well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dignity is for republicans.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
