She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I love you.
Bad choice
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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