if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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