So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i think i just lost a toe
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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