Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well you can't waste a boner
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
