wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
