im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
