i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
