so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
