We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
