Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
