it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
