you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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