I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
