OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
