I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
