Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
