never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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