There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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