what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize