I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
