We won't sleep together?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize