I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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