White coat. Heels.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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