I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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