I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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