btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
