I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
