dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
