No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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