You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
