She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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