Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How drunk are you?
Completed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
