How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
