Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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