No, you can still breathe under the balls.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
