party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
