I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize