we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
