I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
