ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
