I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
