Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
