Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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