VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
