Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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