I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
