and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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