coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
