You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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