He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
