The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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