Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
