I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
