Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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