If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
someone owes me an orgasm
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
