last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
