I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
