On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize