Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
