one might say we're banned from that church
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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